that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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