All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I got inside last night via doggy door
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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