i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
They have beer where we have blood.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
