so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
