how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
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