I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
