"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
