I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I need a beard to bite.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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