come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
