The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
