her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
