wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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