bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
