i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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