Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
