I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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