I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
