I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
