K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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