Betty ford says i'm here all night
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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