lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
