i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
