we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
