Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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