Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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