Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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