So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
