im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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