yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
