Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
