I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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