at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
