Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
