i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
