My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
