did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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