Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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