I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
