How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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