What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
