dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
