im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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