I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
