Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
