do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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