is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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