so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
