look no pants
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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