i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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