ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
