k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
