last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
