the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
