Is it normal to miss your booty call?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
