Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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